Saturday, March 28, 2009

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So I have 2 essay and 2 assignments to finish before a Easter break...and this is a nice enough reason to procrastinate.

Lately I've been a bit of a homebody (and lazy), so I haven't been going out to many clubs. That's not to say that I don't have a lot of fun back at UniLodge though. I just happen to enjoy movie nights and pretending to study while actually having random side tangents that usually end up being about feminism? Frigging Sex and the Screen + pervy men. It's amazing how many "uncomfortable" moments I've already endured in Melbourne. Having an old man of AT LEAST 60 with thinning white hair ogle my boobs and make a slurping noise will forever haunt me. All this attention would be flattering if it weren't for the fact that EW EW EW.

I played in a mini-poker tournament the other day which was pretty fun. Everyone chipped in $2 and whoever won got the entire pot. I have no poker face, so I eventually got beat outtt but I wasn't the first person to lose so that's okay haha! While we were playing there were 3 fire alarms...I did not leave for any of them. It is really too bad that if there actually is a fire, we will all die. tis the fire alarm who cried...FIRE? too many times.

Vic Market for groceries again!! It is so cheap, way more so than even Farmer's Market back in Ithaca. I was kind of lost because there were just so many vendors selling the same vegetables/fruits! An older Azn gentleman saw my confusion and I think took pity on me b/c he gave me advice on how to pick the freshest produce. He kind of looked like my grandpa, so when he came out with a really strong Australian accent, I was definitely caught off guard haha. I realized that most people, when they see me at a loss or asking them questions, either think that they should help me b.c I am so pathetic/harmless? or that they should pretend to help me but actually exploit me. HMMM. Maybe I should work on being more intimidating...

The next day, went to St. Kilda's again over the past weekend, yay sun and beach! Tried out some meat pies (which are actually quite yummy), bought a few things. Attempted to go out but failed because I am a bum haha...

which is why I decided to go out this weekend. Went to Perseverance again on Thursday -- fun music, justin again with the amazing 90's flashbacks shouting, "OHEMGEE GREAT SONG. AGAIN. HOW DO THEY DO THIS?" But perhaps more entertaining than him was my battle with gravity before we even got to the club itself. In my defense, I was being a good wingwoman and helping my man Dave-o with his hair...it sort of resembled Alfalfa from the Little Rascals movie. He's a tall enough bloke, so when I was looking up, I totally missed a curb and bit it on the sidewalk. Hoon says it was a faceplant, but I do not concur! My elbows protected my face, thus not a true face plant! Alcohol may have had a large role in this unfortunate occurrence, but it also gave me the strength to power through the pain! I kept dancing and ignored the little voice whispering that well, my knees did really hurt and ow jeans chafe a lot don't they? After finally gettin back to UniLodge, I peeled back my jeans, only to find a scrape/cut/bloody oozing abrasian the size of a quarter on my right knee along with a hole in my jeans...and various other scrapes on my body. So I sat there while Austin patched me up and Beej forced me to use soap to clean it off :(. OW, behold the power of goon, the devil's drink.

Let's just say the next day I was tired beyond belief. blah blah i'm getting lazy but basically we went to rooftop again to celebrate Spyro's birthday, who was awfully morose and serious. he basically reminded me that each birthday is bittersweet. Oh, how I wish I were back in freshman year again. There are so many things I would have done differently! Sigh, anyway we meant to go to st. jerome's because it was closing for good since the building that owned the alleyway it was in wanted to expand :(. Farewell epically cool little bar! Then went to Tof which was in the same building as Rooftop. Melbourne is just so good at utilizing space! This one building has 4 or 5 bars/clubs in it, each of which has a very unique layout. Tof in particular was like a maze of different areas. It really catered to your personality and what you preferred doing on a night out. There was a dancing area + bar, an outside area where you could smoke and be more laidback, or a secluded intimate booth area where you could actually shut out the rest of the club with your own sliding door and a button to summon the waitress--BEST PART would be the collection of trashy romance novels they provided. I don't know exactly what kind of shenanigans they wanted to encourage, but Austin ended up stealing one.

And unsurprisingly, we poor college students shunned the pricey menu and went to Mac-ers instead and ended up eating on the State Library lawn--classy I know. We decided that an appropriate end to the night would be a rolling down the hill race. I lost... but then did it 3 more times just for kicks :). Went back to UniLodge only to find a cockroach AGH that austin helped me kill--WAY TO BE MAJORLY RESILIENT, MR. BUG. He ended up helping me cut up cardboard to plug any nooks or crannies in my room since we were pretty sure the bug crawled out from there...and to make matters worse! Austin spent the entire time convincing me that his room is haunted. I found it very reminiscent of Barber's creepy hospital experience. Austin's is even more compelling though because Justin was THERE TOO. and supposedly there's a creepy girl and old man always popping up when he's sleeping/waking up. CREEPY. I refuse to think about such things because we all know I am a wuss wuss wuss.

Watched the boys barricade beej's door, only to be surprised and sprayed with dubious looking white-liquidy concoction... woke up this morning needing to pee REALLY REALLY BADLY, only to find the barricade in front of MY DOOR. As I crawled out from underneath the stacks of chairs and tables with my bladder full and DYING, I thought to myself, "well, 'snot a bad weekend at all." :)

Thursday, March 26, 2009

School and other ponderings

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This week has definitely been a bit strenuous. I'm starting to freak out over what I want to write about for my essays and how I don't understand what's going on in my MDA class.

Sex and the Screen is very interesting, but kind of not what I expected. It has been mostly focusing on gender roles and how directing techniques/camera shots (that I thought were just kind of inane and meaningless) actively objectify the stars/actors, namely the women. Having never been a huge movie buff, it is hard for me to read the many scholarly articles analyzing cinema because half the points the authors bring up had never even crossed my mind--and those little things that I could never put a finger on but did cause a little discomfort are brought under a magnifying lens and articulated. I've always classified "good" movies as those that move me and stick in my mind afterwards, the ones that make my breath catch and forget that what I'm seeing is only artistic vision and not reality. As a child of the age of technology and CG, I am spoiled by special effects and "realistic" acting. The special effects speaks for itself--King Kong from the 1930's cannot compare to the CG version of 2004/5/6?. What I mean by realistic acting is that the movies I've seen for class that were made 'back then'...suck, to me at least. I know this is almost blasphemous but I almost fell asleep during Casablanca. I can't get past the type of acting so prevalent in those movies, where every emotion is melodramatic and exaggerated, and every plot line can be predicted before the movie even starts. Everyone acts the SAME way and talks the same way and it's just so campy. Sure, nowadays movies rely a lot on shock value (gore, sex, violence, etc.) but the movies that truly stick with me do so because of their subtleties: the slight tic of the jaw, furrowed brow, biting of the lip, eyes darting left and right. I don't know if I can write an essay about this because I feel limited--I've been lucky that usually when I have to write an essay, I find at least one topic I want to argue about. But this time, all I want to say is, "fuck you directors of the past for only coming up with movies where women have but one choice of acting: to fulfill your sexual fantasies. Women really don't faint all the time. and not every female needs to be punished for her sexual desires. THANKS."

My complete disinterest for this essay is countered by my attachment to my Australia Now essay. We had a choice of either doing a research essay or reading/analyzing an autobiography. I chose to read one about a Chinese-Cambodian girl growing up in Melbourne but amidst her oppressive family and white societal pressures. I was lucky enough to have a fairly liberal upbringing, while many of my other Asian friends were not. I can't say that I completely empathize with what the author says, but I do understand much of what she describes. Her book is funny, but at many times, borders and crosses the line into mocking. I don't like it. At one point she says, "Constantly sighing, lying and dying---that is what it means to be a Chinese woman, and I want nothing to do with it." I want to tell her FUCK THAT. Fuck that, my mother has never been like that (though she puts up with more than she should), nor would she ever want that for me. I want to yell at her to stop giving readers reason to look down on us, that maybe she should have just grown a fucking backbone and that it has nothing to do with being Chinese. She writes about how everyday was a struggle to not look too peasantry, to not look fall under the stereotype of "looking too immigrant-like." I can't even get mad because I realize that's what American-Asians do everyday, that's what I do everyday. We joke around about FOBs and squint and poke fun at their "outrageous" sense of style and the fact that we're everywhere. Because once you start mocking your own kind, that's when you know you're finally fitting in. Even writing this, I feel like an imposter shrieking about all these "injustices." I didn't even have it that bad as a kid. My parents were progressive, but I feel myself nodding my head as I read Alice Pung's book, recognizing what she describes in my own family dynamics, parental advice, or life stories of friends of friends of friends. What she writes hits too close to home. I don't know if I can write this essay objectively without me not-so-subtly trying to counter every negative image she has protrayed in her novel. Yes, I'm defensive. I feel like some of her anecdotes are actually snapshots of my life and my loved ones that she had no goddamn right to show.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Philip Island

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Went to Philip Island on Sunday! Walked along the beach and up a path to see some absolutely beautiful scenery. REALLY REALLY GORGEOUS. There's something incredibly peaceful and calming about standing on a cliff and looking at the ocean with the sound of waves crashing. But then the torrential downpour and wind started. I've never had rain hurt so much before lol . OW MY EYEBALLS WERE NOT MEANT TO BE PELTED WITH RAINDROPS. Eventually made it back to the van alive and soaked. I forgot how uncomfortable wet jeans are...

Then drove to the Koala Sanctuary. ARRAHHH they are so cute! They're like furry, grumpy little Yodas who can sleep anywhere! Like one butt cheek wedged between two wispy thin branches is enough. One or two moved though and wowed us with their branch-leaping skills; we were very much in awe considering we pretty much didn't expect them to move, ever. I'm ashamed of this, but for one split second I thought, were koalas really meant to exist for a long time (as in, not die out)? I thought this b/c our guide told us that parts of the trees had to be wrapped with plastic tubing so the koalas couldn't access certain parts of the tree and accidentally eat it to death. I mean, wouldn't they just naturally kill their dwindling food source left and right!? Of course, I then remembered that before humans, they most likely had enough trees to go around... OOPS.

Then! We got to feed wallabies and kangaroos. THEY ARE ADORABLE. I WILL HAVE PICTURES SOON, HOPEFULLY. The wallabies look like kangaroos but darker and much smaller. They've been well conditioned by now in that once they see you have a paper bag, they know you're there to feed them. They inch closer and closer until you finally extend your feed-filled hand--at which point they grab onto your fingers with their little claws and hold on tight lest you try to pull your hand away before they're done. You could pet them so long as you didn't touch their faces. It kind of reminded me of girls trying to avoid being kissed on the dance floor: *weave, kiss dodge, head bob.* The kangaroos were a lot more...insistent. aggressive. GREEDY. They do that big dog move where they put their front paws on you and leaaaaaan and breathe stank ass air into your face until you give them what they want. You had to resist. or at least feed strategically! A couple of the kangaroos had joeys in their pouches. If you wanted to feed the joeys, then you had to get a sneaky partner to feed/distract the mother so you could get the food near her kid.

Bad: we saw some black swans; *backs away* THEY ARE DEVIL BIRDS, DEAR GOD. Absolutely vicious things that attack you and anything else that moves...

Fairy penguins! They are absolutely tinyyy! They're about a foot tall maybe, probably less. You know toddlers/babies waddle around and tend to just barrel forward without looking out for potential obstacles? They just want to get to THAT DESTINATION no matter what as fast as possible. Fairy penguins are like the toddlers of birds. They run head lowered a little, like they're going to tip over any second BUT THEY HAVE TO KEEP THE MOMENTUM GOING. and when they do eventually trip over something (because you know it is inevitable), they just sh-sh-sh-shake it off. I kind of wanted to pick them up and put 'em in my purse. and run for it.

If I don't make it back to the States, it's probably because I've been arrested for penguin snatching.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

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Another quick random recap of the past few days!

First. Random sing-alongs in the kitchen. Each floor in my building has a communal shower for each sex, kitchen, and lounge. The kitchen is basically the place to beeee. Everyone seems to play the guitar so there's always at least one person just strumming around. Anyway, this inevitably leads to everyone else grabbing their guitars and the vocally talented singing along. I have never heard Tears of Heaven or Wonderwall played so many times in succession hahaha. Tis good fun when you're eating dinner and there are people serenading you :). The greatest sing-along though was when I was on my way to the bathroom last Sunday. Austin + Justin + cheap wine = best rendition of Mulan's I'll Make a Man Out of You EVAR. Oh my god they had CHOREOGRAPHY, it was epic. I love it when people have such enthusiasm for Disney! Yay celebration of our childhood!...and maybe pre-teens!

Second. The Record. I'm standing in the kitchen minding my own business, making myself a sandwich when Maya bursts in and says, "Guys, guys! Austin's onto number 8! He just finished 7, oh man he looked exhausted though! Beej, he's gunning break your record..." "What record?" I ask. Could she be talking about a video game level? No, that can't be right, why would everyone be that impressed and laughing so hard? It must be something ridiculously hard or just plain ridiculous. An outraged shout from Beej clarifies the confusion: "What, seriously?! I can't believe he attempted the record today of all days. May the force be with him. and his penis."

Yes, the record is about the greatest number of times you've masturbated in one day. At my "What? For real?!?," every guy then offered his number, and some even provided the setting & times with fond expressions on their faces. I thought our group at Cornell was open about sex. So wrong! There wasn't anything pervy or shameful about the ensuing conversation. Both girls and boys spoke candidly (and sometimes quite proudly) about their experiences/records. It was a hilarious...3 hours haha interspersed with encouraging catcalls to Austin through his door. If anyone is interested, Austin surpassed the Crazy 8's and joined the elite Terrible (or Tendinitis) 10's.

Third. Spring break planning. A-U-C-K-L-A-N-D, New Zealand. Seven days. Countless adventures!!!

Fourth. Cube Cafe. I've had to explore different cafes to find a suitable place to read and study as a replacement for the library. Libraries here close around 6 or 10 pm at the very latest, and studying at UniLodge is kind of hard since there's always something loud and fun happening on my floor. Like a water fight. or shaving cream fight. or or or fun conversations. Anyway, I got all of these coupons to use before they expire and consequently am dragging my friends along by enticing them with a free house dessert. Yummy food and "board game" themed. I'm thinking one needs to open up in C-Town just for us to have board game night.

Fifth. Went to Bimbo's. Alright pub/bar overall, but best part was the courtyard on the rooftop-ish area with dangling lights/heat lamps. Kind of romantic, nice alternative to the techno-y downstairs. Also, Hoon found a pair of inflatable boobs on the way back. Win.

Sixth. Movie nights! When I am too lazy to go out...a lot! Watched the Wrestler, did not think that the acting was so Oscar-worthy, but then again I was hiding my eyes most of the time to avoid the squick. Um, was maybe a little bit tipsy too. OH, WAIT, Hot Fuzz was hilarious, especially b/c of the drinking game. Drink when you hear his name! Drink when there's gunfire (constant chugging)! I love that there were 6 tipsy people squished next to each other on my bed :). ETA: Maid of Honor was cheesy cheese. but HAHAHA HEE, i love boys and their dude love. Bros before hos all the way! "WE WILL MAKE YOU THE BEST MAID OF HONOR, EVAR." If I ever have the position of "MOH," I will ask boys to make the gift baskets or whatever, just to try to reenact the scene of guys trying to figure out which scented candles should go together.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

geek-out

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UHMMM so I'm going to be massively dorky right now, surprise surprise.

I just came back from my Managerial Decision Analysis class and I'm really looking forward to learning from this professor. He's really enthusiastic about the course subject and, from what I've seen, seems to have a unique perspective on the subject. I wish I were more like him--Sunny (aha his name, so cute) is obviously one of those people with an insatiable academic appetite who just loves learning for the sake of having that knowledge. He is obviously mad smart considering he has 3 PhDs, but is amazingly cute/dorky/charming. He tried to liken learning martial arts to this class by giving us a demonstration of kung fu and karate and something else I can't remember; he kept saying he was too old to do really high kicks but he looks like he's only in his late 20's! It must be the Asian aging genes or something because according to his various anecdotes, he's at least 30 years old... yay looking like a 12-year old FOREVER. The only downside to this class is that it's very lecture based and you can't rely on slides--my hand's going to be cramped like woah. He also has a very strong accent, which he acknowledged very elegantly, but I think I'll get used to it in a few weeks. I feel that this course is going to be very useful in sharpening my analytical and spreadsheet/probability skills. hooray for practical, applicable lessons!